Hi all,
Well i have decided to complete a blog about my life during pregnancy after events occured in my personal life, that i really didnt want to discuss with my closest friends or family but really needed to get them off my chest...
Let me introduce myself i'm emma and 24 years old i am currenlty 11 weeks pregnant and have had terrible sickness all day and all night since 4 weeks, hopefully it will stop soon.
I split up with a loving partner of 6 years in November last year after realising that we both wanted different things from life, the split was fairly hard for both of us but it was definalty the right thing to do. i spent a coupke of weeks feeling very low and upset but life goes on, so i picked myslef up and moved on I met a guy who works for the same company as i do, over the christmas period, but nothing actually happended between us till february when we went on our first date.
For a few weeks i continued to see this guy who i will name as S, despite getting on so well with him his ex girlfriend played a huge part in his life and i couldnt understand why he would still jump if she called often leaving me in his bed, while going to see her, I didnt put up with this for very long, and it soon came out via her Myspace that basically S had still be sleeping with her for at least 6 weeks, I dont know why i decided to give him anotehr chance perhaps it was beacuse i had been back to my ex for sex during this period and knew how hard it was to break away from a long term relationship. However i gave him the benefit of the doubt ad within a month we move into a new house together.
It wasnt long before i found out that he was chatting to other girls in sex rooms and watching sex videos online, we had a huge row and he promised me that he would stop and he was sorry, again i forgave him and then a couple of months later i find out i am pregnant.. A HUGE shock, but i am very maternal and love kids so in a way i was very pleased. We decided to buy our own house and moved into a brand new house, then last Thursday i dont know what made me do it, but i picked up his phone and read some of his text messages, things from other girls saying i want to suck your cock... I am fingering myself at the thoguht of you, etc etc.
I had reached the end of my tether and told him it was finsihed for good and that i would never trust him, after i had calmed myslef down and a lot of pleading from S i began to think about how happy i am with him and how much i want our baby to be loved, and whilst he may be chatting to oher girls i truly believe he would never actually cheat on me.
So he is on one last chance... We seem to have gone through so much in a short space of time, but i do know one thing I love him and i beleive he loves me, we all make mistakes only his are huge, however he knows now one little error and thats it for good.
On the pregnancy front we are both very happy and have started planning for the future... who knows what will happen only time will tell...
I hope that i will be posting happy thoughts soon, and i hope that this was a big enough shock to him. I just want someone who i can trust and be happy with.. i know i am nor perfect but is that too much to ask for
x